Princess Gamma

No matter what I do, where I am in my life, what is happening, I will always be a cancer survivor.

I was in London for my bi annual Great Ormond Street Hospital Appointment. Where I have a general MOT. I was looking forward to this particular appointment. To show my consultant who has been with me since my bone marrow transplant in 1988, the scan picture of the growing little blob inside of me.

As I trod the familiar hallways and passed the familiar bald heads of children attached to monitors and tubes, beeping machines and toys with wheels on. I was reminded of how lucky I am.

After an echocardiogram on my heart which showed a normal beating healthy one. I waited patiently to see Dr L.

My time came and I couldn't wait to blurt out the news, she threw her hands up in joy and was very happy for me.

Then came the reminders.......

'You are a high risk pregnancy' 'You have had radiation and therefore have a higher chance of miscarriage' 'Increased chance of premature birth' 'increased chance of low birth weight' 'Some patients have had succesful pregnancies, some have miscarried early on' 'You need to be monitored carefully by an obstetrician and have regular ultrasound and echocardiograms to check your heart, as you received a certain chemical as part of your treatment which could effect the contractibility of your heart muscle'.............

Oh yes, I forgot, I am not normal, another host of hurdles are thrown in front of me like skittles disappearing off into the horizon.

I am so pleased to get the best care from GOSH, they demand I receive only the best care from other healthcare professionals, I am very lucky, it is like having a whole host of guardian angels flapping around you. It is also however, a reminder that I am always going to be someone who had cancer and as time goes on it seems the likelihood of long term effects can cloud over the blue skies, they don't know, they are still learning themselves how the radiation and chemicals can effect patients as decades go by. (My broken tooth is an indicator that things might start getting a bit crumbly!)

Perhaps by 2010 I shall start glowing green, my friend J said 'I might be like that radioactive strawberry that just never shrivels up and is preserved in redness by radiation' (I wish)

Although I had radiotherapy after I had started my periods and apparently, this is good and outcomes of pregnancies of patients who had started their periods before cancer treatment has been favourable. But I had literally only JUST started, so who knows,(other pregnancies have been succesful and spontaneous too so who knows for sure) it is all in the lap of the gods and I am going to be relaying this all to the poor midwife on Friday who apparently is going to have to treat me with kid gloves.

Perhaps I should arrive at the surgey on a sedan chair carried by four punka wallers two of which are frantically fanning me with ostrich feathers.

It is after all the very least they could do!