Yes sir thats my baby

I took a good friend out for lunch yesterday, or rather attempted to. She ended up paying as the place we went to didn't take cards and my uslessness had prevented me from being organised and getting cash.

She had just split up with her live in boyfriend and we were catching up on everything. She is fine, woman power, she has in abundance.
On the way home she asked me in the car.
'So will your baby have spanish blood?'
I paused for a moment to think the romantiscism of having an anonymous spanish donor wasn't enough, for the first time, I felt a little uncomfortable.
'Yes, I suppose it will, it is sad to think that it won't have my genes, but yes it will, and I will celebrate the childs origins as it gets older, will teach it Spanish from age 4, play spanish music, spanish childrens songs....'
Suddenly I felt sad, almost as if my baby belonged to someone else, I had never felt that before it was confusing, I was almost cross with my friend for bringing this up. I felt that this was all private between us as a family.

My friend had been discussing this with a mutual friend of ours, she started saying how children should be told the truth from the start, and that if my baby wanted to find the spanish genetic connection she would regardless of anonymity. This also made me feel sad, the baby wasn't even born yet and already I was worrying about her/him going off and bumping into their genetic link building a relationship and not thinking of me as their mother anymore. How crazy.

The conversation got on to the lack of open mindedness of egg donation in the UK, the concerns over treatment and the way it is done here and culminated in me saying how I think everyday how lucky I am to have this baby growing inside of me. The other way I look at it is that part of me has almost become part of the baby, that we are intertwined, no matter what people say I know they will be mine, our baby that we are having together, but now I feel frustrated that i didn't say to my friend that my blood has sustained this baby throughout the pregnancy and that they have part of me.

I have decided to let the friends discuss it amongst themselves if they want to I know what I believe and I know how I want to bring my child up and what exposure they will have to their origins, the 'hen' book will be brought and the conversation will happen. It did hurt though, my friend bringing it all up, I guess I will never be able to forget the true roots of how all this occured, but it will be celebrated no matter how sad it feels sometimes.